Crocodile Tears

Well, yesterday I officially experienced the worst moment in my life.  I debated whether to share about it on the blog, but yet, this is why this blog was created...to share Savannah's journey.  Savannah's first two doctor's appointments went well.  Savannah has no additional bone erosion in her feet and the arthritis is staying in check, thanks to the medicines (and prayer).  Savannah got fitted for new orthotics at her second appointment and we LOVED the new physical therapist who fitted her...Also, we think the new orthotics will be tolerable to wear! Praise!
Oh, but the third appointment...time for Savannah's Orencia infusion she receives every four weeks.  Savannah has had twenty i.v.'s inserted since one year ago. Most have gone well, others tolerable... until yesterday.  Since Savannah has had to receive so many i.v.'s in the last year, her veins in her arms are pretty much shot.  Without going into a lot of details, it took three nurses and three separate sticks to get a good vein to insert the medicine...with each stick being excruciating because the nurses had to move the inserted needles around a lot to find a good vein without scar tissue.  Savannah's pain tolerance is good, but the pain of these sticks were more than she could tolerate.  The tears flowed, she begged the nurses to stop, she begged for me to take her home.  The nurse told Savannah if she did not get the medicine, the arthritis pain would come back and she would be back in a wheel chair.  Savannah said she did not care...the pain was that bad.  On the third stick, as three nurses hovered over Savannah,  Savannah is screaming in pain, crying in fear, and saying "No more! No more! Please stop!"  All this as she looked into my eyes, the person who is suppose to protect her and take her fears and pain away.  I start singing her the song I have sang to her since she was born..."You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..."  By now, streams of crocodile tears are rolling down my face, too...but I continue to sing looking straight into her pained eyes.  After an hour of trying to stick her and attempting to find a good vein in either arm, one of the nurses finally found one good vein deep within her arm.  My singing stops, the fight is over, the medicine is ready to enter her body.  I don't know if I can do this any more.  You can put the pain on me, stick me!...but, not my child!  However, I am reminded of a man (Jesus) who was stuck and struck beyond measure as His father watched.  God I need your strength. Friends, I need your prayers.  Today is a new day...a calm at the end of a storm.  And I will still say, God is good, all the time.

If you would like to make a donation to the Arthritis Foundation in Savannah's honor, or to run on "Team Savannah" at the Jingle Bell Run benefiting the Arthritis Foundation, go to (you will probably need to cut and paste address):

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=1026942&supId=354299665